How to Write Wedding Vows You’ll Actually Love
Writing your wedding vows is one of the most meaningful parts of your ceremony — but it’s also one of the parts couples stress about the most. What do you say? How long should they be? Should you be funny, sentimental, traditional… all of the above?
Take a breath.
You absolutely can write vows that feel personal, natural, and true to your relationship — and it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Today, I’m walking you through a simple, step-by-step structure that works for any couple, any style of ceremony, and any comfort level with writing.
If you want the full, printable version with templates, examples, prompts, and more, make sure to grab the free Vow Starter Guide at the end of this post.
Step 1: Get Clear on Your Ceremony Style
Before you write a single word, understand the tone and structure of your ceremony. This sets the foundation for everything else.
Religious Ceremonies
If your ceremony includes religious traditions, check with your officiant early:
Some religions require or strongly prefer specific vows.
Others allow personal vows but with guidelines.
You may be able to share a short personalized statement even if you’re using traditional vows.
Non-Religious Ceremonies
You have complete creative freedom.
You can go modern, romantic, poetic, simple, funny — whatever feels most like you two.
Cultural or Blended Ceremonies
If you're blending traditions:
Choose the tone you want your vows to reflect.
Keep communication open with your officiant so everything integrates smoothly.
Step 2: Align With Your Partner (This Prevents Awkward Moments!)
One of the biggest vow mistakes is not talking to each other first.
Decide together:
How long your vows should be
Whether you want them to be emotional, humorous, traditional, or a mix
If you’ll keep them a surprise or share drafts
Topics you want to include — and anything you’d rather avoid
A quick 10-minute conversation now saves you both from mismatched vows later.
Step 3: Follow this Simple, No-Fail Vow Structure
This is the structure I recommend to almost all my couples. It keeps your vows heartfelt, organized, and easy to write — even if you don’t consider yourself a “writer.”
1. Start With an Opening Line
Examples:
“From the moment we met…”
“Standing here with you today…”
“You are my best friend…”
It sets the scene and brings your partner into the moment.
2. Share One or Two Short Stories or Qualities You Love
You don’t need a long paragraph — just something small that shows who you are together.
Examples:
A moment that changed your relationship
A trait you deeply admire
How your partner makes you feel supported
3. Make Your Promises
This is the heart of your vows.
Include a mix of:
Meaningful promises (patience, loyalty, growth)
Daily-life promises (supporting dreams, choosing kindness)
Optional lighthearted promises (that one show you won’t watch without them)
4. Look Toward the Future
Offer a hopeful, forward-focused line about the life you're building.
5. Close With Something Simple and Strong
Examples:
“This is my promise to you.”
“Today and always, I choose you.”
Step 4: Edit With Intention
Once you’ve written a draft:
Read it out loud — this makes a huge difference
Make cuts where needed
Time yourself (most couples land between 45–90 seconds)
Adjust language for religious or cultural expectations if needed
Your vows should feel like you. Not overly polished. Not overly long. Just honest.
Step 5: Prep for the Wedding Day
A few simple tips go a long way:
Write or print your vows on a card
Keep a backup copy with a trusted friend
Practice reading them until they feel natural
Bring tissues (just in case!)
Ready to Make Vow Writing Easy?
This blog gives you the overview — but I’ve packaged everything you need into a full, printable Vow Starter Guide that walks you through the entire process step-by-step.
Inside, you’ll get:
Templates you can follow
Prompts to spark ideas
Sample vows for religious + non-religious ceremonies
A structure that guarantees your vows feel balanced and meaningful
A worksheet-style format you can fill in
Download your free Vow Starter Guide here
Looking for some wedding inspo?
Check out some of our favorite vendors.
Dawn at Burlap and Lace Events and Florals: www.burlapandlacellc.com
Tasya at Vibewell Voyages: www.vibewellvoyages.com
Jimmy at Enloe Entertainment LLC: www.EnloeEntertainment.com
Janet at Drinkwater Travel: www.drinkwatertravel.com
Crystal at Summer Bear Photography: summerbearweddings.com
Cari at Turnage + Watts: https://turnageandwatts.com
